See you at the crossroads...

Thought this Chicago intersection somewhat symbolizes my situation right now in the motherland. Which way do I go?!

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Except in the motherland there are more bikes and Chinese people.


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Anyway, I just got back to Beijing from Chicago (congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Thurston!) and am jetlagged like a muhfugga. It was my first visit back to North America since moving to China, and it was interesting to see America through the lens of a neophyte Beijinger. Like the air is so clean! Time moves really sloooooooow. Amellica is truly the land of the plentiful. Where are all the Chinese people?!

Also interesting to come back and (try to) explain my time in America to my Chinese teacher, who's never been outside of China.

Me: Well I didn't really have time to study my Chinese because I had no time.

Teacher: What were you doing?"

Me: [I try to look up "DJing" in my Chinese-English dictionary...no entry.] Uh, I was "preparing" music.

Teacher: You were composing music?

Me: No, no, I was well, uh, visiting friends and my parents also were in Chicago.

Teacher: What's "Chicago?"

Me: It's a city. You know, like Michael Qiaodan?

Teacher: [Blank look] Is it near New York?

Me: No, it's far.

Teacher: How many hours by car?

Me: Well my parents took a plane* to Chicago.

*I almost say, "Well my parents spanked that monkey to Chicago," but correct myself at the last second. Phew. You see in Chinese, when you want to say "spank that monkey" you apparently just say "hit airplane." Which is not that far off from saying "take airplane," especially for somebody who speaks really bad Chinese. [Did I just write the words "parents" and "spank that monkey" in the same sentence?!!]

Anyway, things I already miss about USandA:

1. Reeeibbs. Word to Gale Street Inn. Ain't no "probably" here.


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2. Straight lounging with my homeslices and homeslicettes on fatty couches.


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3. Tautological rap at its finest.



Can we take a moment to ponder the profundity? You see this guy, MIMS? He's hot for the following reasons. He is hot because, well, he is fly. And us? Well we are not hot because, well, we are just not (hot). Got it? And that is why he is so hot.

Modern day Descartes.

And since I'm in China this beat is not getting played out, so it's still pretty bonkers.