I spit hot fire

Apparently the Powers-That-Be were distributing these graphic pamphlets/tissues packs the other day. You know, to help spread the message about not spitting. Onto the street. Spitting into the trash receptacle? YES!!! "Now, foreigners here to see the Olympics won't think Chinese people lack manners!"

What is ironic about this message, or rather what this message overlooks is the hocking factor. Chinese people like to get they hock-a-loogie on. We know this. But it's not just the loogie that is repugnant. We can't forget about the hocking. Hooooooccccckkkkkkkkk. Even old ladies do it. Like you're walking down the street and you hear: hoooooccckkkkkkk!!!!! You turn around and can't help but go, "Cah mon now, that ish is gross grandma!"

I guess it's like Pfife Dawg once said, "You get an E for effort and T for nice try."

--

Just bought a blender. Smoothies back in e.f.f.e.c.t. Except frozen strawberries are like $15 here. How come nobody told me about the Freeze-The-Fruit premium in China? Luckily I managed the wherewithal to buy some Asian pears (USD .35) and put them in my freezer myself. Cause I'm crazy like that.

Anyway, my smoothie-making (word to Randy Moss!) resumption reminded me of another cultural difference I've found here in China. See sometimes the customer is not right here. Like no means no and that's that. For example, a while back a couple of colleagues, Viviane and Adam, and I went to get some fresh juice at this fresh juice joint.

Viviane orders a watermelon juice. The juicemaker takes some watermelon pieces and drops them into the juicer. I spy some sliced pears behind the counter, so I order a pear juice. The juicemaker takes the pear slices and drops them into the juicer. Figgy figgy fresh!

Then Adam steps up. He scans the fruit selection behind the counter. Oranges. Bananas. The proverbial light bulb goes off. "Can I have an orange and banana?"

Blank stare.

The juice maker finally responds, "Huuhhhwwwhhaaaaatttt???!!!!" (Lil' Jon-style.) OK, maybe I embellish.

The juicemaker looks at Adam, mutters "orange and banana" like he's crazy, and replies: "NO."

Adam is incredulous. "Are you serious? Why not?"

The juicemaker points to the posted menu. "Orange banana juice is not on the menu. Besides you can't put oranges and bananas together!"

"Yes, you can. You put those oranges right there and those bananas and you put them in the juicer."

"NO!!" Case closed.

Viviane quite enjoyed her watermelon juice. I thought my pear juice was quite refreshing. Adam wasn't all that impressed with his banana sans orange juice.

--

P.S. My bike was locked.