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You know what they say: "Once you go blackcock and walnut Bo Chi...you never go back."
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I imagine it can be hard for appliance salesemen here sometimes.
"M'am, have you seen our latest Maytag dryer with the Oversized Capacity Plus/Intelli Dry Sensor & Quiet Plus 200. It sure is a doozie."
"Look I don't need all this newfangled gobbledygook. Don't you see I already got...a tree?!"
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The celebration of a new year was also a bit different here. Overall (besides the hong bao's of course), I thought Chinese New Year's here was a bit disappointing, if I might be so frank. Upon further reflection, however, I realized my feeling that something was left wanting stemmed from certain unfair pre-expectations.
Having pretty much celebrated all my New Year's in the USandA, the idea of New Year's has now ensconced itself in my brain as, uh, well like a party. I think high school is when I really started to look forward to New Year's as a time to celebrate. All of your friends imbibing together, and most importantly there was that potential, that chance you could kiss a girl, maybe even that really cute girl you had a crush on. (Who started that tradition and why was he, or she, such a genius?)
6!!...5!!...4!!!...3!!!!!!...2
There was also a high probability that somebody would drink too much and make an @ss out of himself. Like passing out on the stairs and peeing their pants. That was so awesome.
When I owned a bar in the East Village, New Year's also meant the biggest night of the year (and biggest bar ring). That was pretty sweet as well. Except that one year when a girl spilled an entire drink all over the DJ mixer and the music cut out at 12:04am when people were still guzzling their champagne flutes and then everyone left because they wanted to hear music and having no music was a serious buzzkill and thousands of dollars walked right out of the door and I was like this really sucks and then later that night I ended up hooking up with somebody who in retrospect I probably shouldn't have hooked up with but she was really attractive and I was seduced really hey wait I kissed her at midnight!
Anyway I was pretty excited to celebrate my first Chinese New Year's in China. My first time to properly celebrate. Another huge party! Somebody might pee in their pants!
Wrong.
See Chinese New Year's in China is more like xmas. School is out for a month. Offices are closed for a week. The whole country is pretty much shut down. It's all about family time. I heard that 250 million people rode the trains over the holiday to visit their various hometowns. For many Chinese, this is the only time of year they get to see their family back home.
And I thought how ludicrous it would be to come somewhere in America on xmas and carry the expectation that you were going to some crazy party with lots of girls that you may (or may not) be able to kiss at midnight and hopefully see somebody pee their pants. Sure you might find some people at the bar, but it's not the same. Most people are at home with their families. And if somebody does pee their pants, it's really pretty sad, like dude don't you have a family?
The last day of the Spring Festival (Chinese New Year's), however, was pretty cool. This day is apparently the day when Chinese people spark up the fireworks. Chinese people straight lighting off fireworks on some Chinese firecracker kack-kack-kack-kaaack! How did I know about this tradition? I saw some flashes looking out the window, and then when I stepped outside...
It was like Beijing was B.O.B. (Bombs Over Bagdad like that Outkast song). Speaking of which, when was the last time you saw that video, or even heard that song?
That song was kind of waaaay ahead of its time on some futuristic George Jetson craaaa...! On the flip side Amy Winehouse brings back that old Billie Holliday vibe. For me at least. Dope. Word to Christine Moon for keeping a brotha informed o'er here
